You are currently browsing the category archive for the ‘NYC’ category.

swimming-cat-3

Ugggh….. a confusing one. There is my mattress and tapestry outside of a house in NYC, but there’s no room in the house for me so I sleep outside on the sidewalk with my tapestry hanging down blocking the street. It occurs to me that I have been lucky no one has accosted me in my sleep.  Inside the house there is a huge family, including my ex-husband’s family, and all I want is a cup of coffee…. searching and searching for the coffee. There’s also unlimited rodents and ruminants roaming freely throughout the house. And then there’s a giant aquarium with two cats mating in it.. I’m tapping on the glass madly so that they will stop before they drown… they’re down at the bottom of the tank and I want them to come up for air. They do but then they’re back at it again….down at the bottom of the tank.  Then there’s a whole crowd folks sitting around on the lawn… kind of a giant outdoor stadium type thing and this Asian woman and young girl approach Gary (the ex) and say “will you watch the baby for us?” Gary has no idea who these people are but they are dumping the screaming baby on him…..  he’s like “no! no! I’m not just taking your baby for the day… how do I know you will be back?” The lady is telling the baby “you stay with Gary…..” baby is screaming. I intervene and take the shrieking child who is in a box with wet bedding and filthy. I wash the bedding and try to clean the baby up… I’m going to save this baby!!!!!

Then there’s this guy crawling over me to get to the window, he’s wearing sweat pants but somehow his balls manage to dangle into my mouth…..  i am freaking out…  like he thinks I did it on purpose…. I’m trying to speak but no words will come out…. i’m just doing a muffled scream.. then an old gypsy lady brings me a bottle half  full of some green liquid and says i have to drink it cause the guy had a disease… I’m like “i didn’t have skin to skin contact” and she’s like “well it’s such a bad disease you should take the medicine anyway”… like it would permeate the sweatpants he had on regardless…  meanwhile there are rats, mice, hamsters , lambs , all varieties of rodents and ruminants…… just running all over the place……

I was in the classic library/law firm nightmarish combo job. First Susan Taylor Wall (the dragon lady atty. i worked with a lifetime ago) was working on some case about a disabled girl…. i kept getting lost in the office… i was frantically trying to catch up . The computers were all old non-gui… i was having trouble. I was thinking to myself about how i used to be so scared of her ( i was always scared of all the female attorneys) but now it was all just fine….. then I was at a conference of some type with a bunch of librarians/lawyers and we were in NYC and all the young hot lawyers were hitting on H and T (da girl) and other young cute librarians but I was with them so i figured i’d be in on the action too. We were on some kind of ferris wheel like thing and T says theres’ Danny… looking across the street and I’m like Danny? Danny who? I was looking for Danny O. but she says Danny K. And I’m like what??? How do you know Danny K? I fucked Danny K !!! And she and H are all like oh we met him in NYC…. we fucked him too. So I say we have to go over there (he was at a bus stop waiting for a bus) so we grabbed our little mini Oscars and ran over but he was already gone.

I kept trying to get details from T about how they knew him but she was strangely secretive about it. I said “we have to go put our little Oscars back” so we went back to the convention place and T went to lunch with someone else and I kept asking H about it and she got all huffy like “why would he even want to talk to you?”…. and i said i knew him back in SC when he was a professor before he got all famous… i’ve tried emailing his firm in NYC but he apparently is now working more full time on movie production so i haven’t’ been able to get in touch with him. She’s like why would he want to hear from you? I say I want to talk to him about a movie idea. She smirks and says “you are so into yourself. ” what? … “you just waited 15 minutes hanging out with me so you could grill me about Danny. ” I’m like oh right H it’s all about YOU…… all about YOU…… she runs off to catch a bus to have lunch with someone else.

I am alone in NYC. I get into what i think is a cab but then realize its’ just a station wagon with no driver. I’m in the back seat and mistakenly think there’s some kind of system where they have driverless taxis on a rail or something but then realize its just a car without a driver….. it finally crashes into some parked cars. I get out but no one realizes I was even in it. In fact, nobody seems particularly concerned about the crash. I start to ask someone to call the police but then decide just to walk away to avoid any unnecessary trouble. I am wearing a nice dress and coat but realize I’ve lost my purse somewhere along the way… probably left it at the convention center.

I find myself lost and random men walk by and grab my ass and i’m scared. It’s a really seedy part of town. I’m wearing heels…. it’s hard to navigate in this getup. There’s a dark very steep tiled alley but i see an escalator at the top of the alley so i try to get up there but it’s soo hard in the heels and this one guy like a meat packer or something says” hold up buddy” to his friend and just pushes me by my ass up to the escalator. Thanks!

I get on the escalator but get stuck at the end again…. damned heels. These guys in suits comment on why are you wearing those shoes walking around the city and i tell them i’m lost so they agree to put me in the right direction to the convention center or at least Times Square or somewhere i will recognize. We walk and walk …they are nice but at some point I fall behind because we stop at some kind of shop and the one guy is all of a sudden naked. He’s getting his suit cleaned so he’s just walking around naked. I’m cool with it. I take my dress off but now i’m wearing a shirt underneath so i’m not naked but then we leave and i can’t get the dress on that easily and by the time I get it on and I’m outside the door the men are gone. I’m lost again. Now i haven’t even got a coat. ….no purse. …no money. Strange men are lurking around again. There are no safe looking places to ask for help. I see some other guys who are strangely like the first guys , in suits and ask them to help me find Times Square. I explain my dilemma. They are super nice. One is Jim from the tv show The Office. ….he holds my hand. Turns out he is the same guy that had been naked while his suit was being cleaned but neither of us seems to remember that until we stop in at a yoga class for kids and H is there again saying how cool it is that he would exercise on his lunch break and I’m laughing like “exercise? he was getting his suit cleaned”… but then we are shushed by the yoga teacher and leave.

We finally come upon some other people and i’m lying in an open cart perhaps a horse drawn carriage with two girls, one i know (is it still H???) – the other is Hayden Panettiere and one of them says your dress is kinda revealing, low, you know…. and I’m like no it’s not and Hayden says “you just can’t pull it off.” …..and i’m like oh right miss Hayden Panettiere…. i’m pulling at her boobs…..Miss 17 year old probably still a virgin… laughing.. of course you’re not you’re dating that hot dude from Heroes and she says “yes i am still a virgin… it’s fun.” Then I look down and notice my shirt is messed up under my dress and you can see the unshaven armpits and i’m like oh…. now i get what you mean and she gives me a knowing nod.

Then i turn into Melanie Griffith and somehow i know where the nice guys live and apparently I am now living in their building in a really cool loft. There’s a sign on the door when everyone arrives at the guys’ building saying Welcome to the Mayor of NYCs new home… come in…..

The other girls in the group are like “great…she’s moved into your building” but I know it’s just a fresh start for me/Melanie and she/I won’t be glomming on to the guys… just friends…. just people to start her/me on our way….. but now i’m me looking at this happening and saying I bet she bought a lotto ticket…. and everyone’s walking around the loft admiring it and yep. I/Melanie bought a winning lotto ticket.

The phone rings and I/Melanie am looking for my cell but it’s my real life phone so I wake up strangely satisfied and happy.